Ha! This may or may not be true, but according to The Sun, a boy asked a demo iPhone how many people there were in the world and it answered, “Shut the fuck up, you ugly twat!”
Apparently, someone had entered that in as the phone user’s name, so it was responding as it was told. Probably an employee playing pranks.
First off, may Steve Jobs rest in peace. He was a brilliant man and has given us so much.
But wow! I had no idea he was God! That’s exactly who he is, according to Margie Phelps of Westboro Baptist Church. You know, those nutjobs who picket soldiers’ funerals with homophobic BS.
On Twitter, she posted this:
So naturally, a lot of people pointed out her hypocrisy for using an iPhone to post that, something created by Steve Jobs. So she says:
So not only is Steve Jobs really God, but he’s also going to Hell! Does this mean they’re Devil worshippers? This is amazing news! Tell the world!
Warrant’s Jani Lane has passed away at age 47. Besides giving us great music for years, he was a great guy. About five years ago (I don’t remember exactly when), the band stayed at a Comfort Inn I worked at, along with Firehouse, and they were to play locally later that evening. I had the honor of checking them in and mentioned how my wife would flip if she could see them, but due to her schizophrenia, she was no longer able to handle being around such large crowds.
Without a second thought, Jani marked us down on their guest list and said if she couldn’t stay for the entire show, they’d understand. So once I was home from work, I told Robin to get ready for a concert and we had a great time hanging with them! Hinder also opened for them and they were a very friendly group. Robin started having problems about midway through Warrant’s set so we had to leave, but it was a memorable experience for sure.
Thank you, Jani, for all you’ve given us. Rest in peace.
First, take a minute and read this from a Facebook post:
Are you sick of highly paid teachers?
Teachers’ hefty salaries are driving up taxes, and they only work 9 or10 months a year! It’s time we put things in perspective and pay them for what they do – babysit!
We can get that for less than minimum wage.
That’s right. Let’s give them $3.00 an hour and only the hours they worked; not any of that silly planning time, or any time they spend before or after school. That would be $19.50 a day (7:45 to 3:00 PM with 45 min. off for lunch and plan– that equals 6 1/2 hours).
Each parent should pay $19.50 a day for these teachers to baby-sit their children. Now how many students do they teach in a day…maybe 30? So that’s $19.50 x 30 = $585.00 a day.
However, remember they only work 180 days a year!!! I am not going to pay them for any vacations.
LET’S SEE….
That’s $585 X 180= $105,300 per year. (Hold on! My calculator needs new batteries).
What about those special education teachers and the ones with Master’s degrees? Well, we could pay them minimum wage ($7.75), and just to be fair, round it off to $8.00 an hour. That would be $8 X 6 1/2 hours X 30 children X 180 days = $280,800 per year.
Wait a minute — there’s something wrong here! There sure is!
The average teacher’s salary (nation wide) is $50,000. $50,000/180 days = $277.77/per day/30 students=$9.25/6.5 hours = $1.42 per hour per student–a very inexpensive baby-sitter and they even EDUCATE your kids!) WHAT A DEAL!!!!
Make a teacher smile; repost this to show appreciation for all educators.
LOL, so when I was the desk manager of a 5-story hotel with a bar, I should have been paid babysitting wages for all 400+ people (closer to a thousand on average since there are usually two or three people in a room), instead of $9 an hour. Jumping to their every complaint, organizing their airport shuttles, orchestrating security, being attacked by drunks, and of course, getting screamed at on a steady basis. And no union. I should have went on strike!
Using that logic. Or maybe I should have known what the fuck kind of job I was applying for.
I’m sorry, but regardless of where you stand on the Wisconsin teacher strike, children are being deprived of their education over greed and politics. Any way you spin it – for the right or for the left – it’s horribly wrong. Work it out some other way. I don’t have the answers but this isn’t one.
There’s an interesting discussion that just started at the KHP Forum. CLICK HERE to read and, please, join in! Registering is naturally free and we have a lot of fun on it.
It’s about THIS article and whether or not there is any truth to it. It claims that with the popularity of e-books and e-publishing, the bad views of self-publishing are lifting.
My response is:
I think the article had a healthy mix of truth and the usual bias toward self-publishing, similar to what vanity publishers have pushed for years.
True, it’s helped established authors get their back catalog out there again, and true there are more success stories recently (but compare that to tons more books being self-published in electronic form, and I bet you get the same ratio of success as before).
All in all, I don’t think the stigma is going away. People will still get sick of reading poorly written first drafts and see that most are self-published. So long as you have noobs who haven’t a clue what they’re doing for lack of experience, and they have access to put it out in front of everyone, people will still roll their eyes.
And I can’t see where any self-respecting publisher would browse the self-published pool for books doing well. With the ability of ebooks, publishers can test the waters with their own titles that they sign on going the traditional route, before investing too much money.
The only thing is, a lot of publishers are still trying to figure out the ebook thing, which is probably the big reason this person is finding more of them in her conferences.
I love how they rely on the Smashwords guy for a source of information. Nope, he has no money to gain by saying that! So let’s take his word for it! He only uses a technology that’s so fucked up, it’s aptly named “The Meatgrinder.”
And of course, if you’d like to see my expanded opinion on self-publishing, it’s HERE.
So there’s a professor who wants to replace all the N-words in Huck Finn with “slave” and even go so far as to replace “Injun Joe” with “Indian Joe” and “half-breed” with “half-blood” (both mean the same, but since one is good enough for Harry Potter…)
It’s madness. I mean, I don’t like the word, either, couldn’t even bring myself to use the full word in my title. But the entire context of the story where the word was being used was to illustrate the inhumanity of slavery. And that just happened to be the word most commonly used back then. To change it would be an attempt to change history.
And bad or good, history needs to remain clear. There have been enough attempts (many successful) to distort it. Let’s not add to that.
It’s all for the schools, they’re saying. Well, the students are capable of understanding the context. If not, that’s what teachers are for. This article in the Washington Post explains it really well:
Besides that, and this is the main reason I chose the wordage for my title, most students hear that word constantly in the hip-hop they’re listening to, so I doubt it would shock them. At least with Twain, they’re getting it in the right context and hell, they might learn that it’s not such a nice word to say even if their favorite rappers are doing it all the time.
What’s next? Take out the N-word and add zombies? Oh wait, someone already made that monstrosity.
It was horrible what happened yesterday with six people shot in Arizona, plus over a dozen wounded, which included U.S. Representative Gabrielle Giffords.
Words can’t express what their friends and family must be going through, and my thoughts are with them.
That said, what follows is the same outcry that happens each time a violent tragedy occurs: the world is getting worse! Quick! We must do something!
I joined in a conversation on Facebook and butted heads a little, and since I explained my point there, already, I’d like to re-post the conversation here. Also, there were other points made that I liked. My main reason is to save it for myself, since FB threads tend to fall off into the ether, lost forever.
Because I’m not a total douche, I’ll keep the people’s names to just initials:
Subject: The shooting of representative Gabrielle Giffords in Arizona was just horrific. What the fuck are things coming to?
LS: This news story just made me sick. Good night, all.
JM: its disgusting especially that it was a 22 year old KID that did this.. someone so young and yet so bitter and jaded already? someone so desperate that he has to kill innocent people? Its really sad and disgusting.. try to think of some of the good things people do tonight instead L..
Jerrod: I don’t think things are “coming to” anything, really. There have been plenty of psychos killing people throughout history. Look at Columbine over a decade ago.
It doesn’t make it any less tragic, of course, and my heart goes out to these people and their families.
I wonder if this could have been avoided, like who was ignoring signs that this guy was batshit crazy before he did this?
HM: I’m sure our parents said the same thing about JFK.
DM: People have lost their damn minds.
SS: Humans have been crazy with killing for nearly 5000 years. Here is a historical fact for everyone. The first recorded war occurred in 2700 BC,and in nearly 5000 years.We have remained consistently good at killing each other.Really sad that killing has been our races lasting legacy.
JM: Ok, so because killing I s ahistorical fact and because columbine happened, then its ok to ignore the obvious facts of how fast this country is declining? So just because this has happened before, we can shrug our shoulders and say “oh well, it happens all the time”? You guys can but I refuse to accept it and deny the obvious rising tension in this country. If you think a major recession, more crime and more suicide rates are something to shrug off then you’re just one of them. We’re not talking about ‘just another senseless murder’ we’re talking about a shadow of what’s to come. I’m not saying its the end of the world, but AZ is in the midst of some serious trouble, which is symbolic of this entire country. Have fun shrugging it off when one of your family members is a target or caught in the crossfire.
LS: What I meant with “what the fuck are things coming to” was that this country is so divided politically, it’s crossed over into lunacy. Clearly this woman was killed because someone disagreed with her politics. Albeit, someone who was psychotic.
WC: It’s sickening.
Jerrod: Sorry you missed the point, J, that nothing is declining. There is no “oh well” going on here. It’s horrible that this happens, it’s just nothing to prove that things are getting worse.
Yes, it’s clear that someone was killed because a… psycho disagreed with their politics. As with the guy who shot Reagan, the assassination of JFK, Lincoln, and all the way back to Julius Caesar.
Every time tragedy strikes, whether it’s at the hands of humans or Mother Nature, it seems people forget world history and cry “End of Teh World!”
And every time someone points this out, someone likes to jump up and accuse them of being under-sensitive. Well, I’m sorry but I can have a clear head about things while still feeling sympathy for these people. I even stated in my first comment that my heart goes out to them and their families, but heaven forbid I have a less narrow perspective on the world! That must negate everything and turn me into some kind of robot!
J, if more people had level heads during bad times, there might be less of it. This guy, after all, was most likely driven by his emotions than his thinking.
JS: People are crazy. Always have been, always will be. Of course, the fact that Palin had the congresswoman’s address marked on a map with a target over it shouldn’t be glossed over either.
JM: So jarred, you honestly think you are the one with the open mind?? Hahaha right. Sorry but all I see is just another person in denial of what’s going on. Good luck to you. And nice way of resorting to name calling. It makes your point moot.
JM: Btw Jarred, I am not dismissing that this guy clearly had some internal emotional turmoil, nor do I blame govt for this. He’s responsible for his own actions. I might be open to your stance of it not being a shadow of what’s to come, IF thi…s were an isolated case but things are changing drastically. The fact that more and more people are killing over politcal issues today than 10 or 15 years ago just goes to show that desparity is getting stronger. What’s wrong with that train of thought anyhow? I’m not saying give up because our country is starting to suck but wake up calls are here. Its time to do something. Time to restore the hope in the americans. That’s all.
Jerrod: How many other political murders have there been in this country in the past 10 or 15 years as opposed to prior?
And what name did I call you, J? Well, I called you “[her name]” My bad.
You’re sounding pretty irrational with your gatherin…g of a revolution. You’re not going to come shoot me because I disagree with you, are you?
DL: Then what is your solution?
JM: Way to be a sarcastic prick and see points other people are making without being condescending in response. Done with this conversation since you can’t even be mature about it. Calling someone narrow minded, someone that so often sees every…side and was seeing all sides of THIS situation is ignorant and yes, I call it ‘calling names’. If you’d like to continue being a prick you can email me. I’m sure L. doesn’t need this on his page. Otherwise, good luck in your suburban ” the world is fine ” bullshit.
Jerrod: Correct me if I’m wrong, Jillian, but calling someone a sarcastic prick is what’s known as name-calling. Using your own logic, your point is moot.
Did I say the world is fine? You used quotes so it must be there somewhere.
D, am I supposed to have a solution for pointing out that humankind has always been littered with violent nutjobs? Sure, I’d love to see it stop but I don’t how claiming it’s somehow worse than it ever has been solves anything.
Okay, but here’s a possible solution, as I’ve tried to make clear: the reaction to tragedy can be just as harmful, if not more so, than the tragedy itself. 911 is a great example. How many of our soldiers have died overseas now as a direct result to this country’s reaction, versus how many people died on that horrible day?
These crazies do what they do because they’re unstable, emotionally charged, and thinking irrationally. To react in a similar way, without logic in the equation, doesn’t help. It just keeps the coals stirred for more people to do crazy things.
Something needs to be done, yes, but going off about “ZOMG, everything is going to hell! Panic! Panic!” isn’t a healthy way to confront it. And sorry if I’m such an asshole for saying so.
DL: That question was addressed to JM, not you. I guess we more or less replied at the same time. I actually agree with everything you’ve said.
Jerrod: Apologies, D 
DL: Not a problem! I should have been more specific as to who I was addressing.
Jerrod: It’s a great subject to debate on, though. And I hope LL understands I’m not trying to go after him for asking. It was a simple enough statement that’s stated anytime something terrible happens, by damn near everyone. So LL, please don’t feel you have to defend yourself to me (you never do). I’m simply trying to have an intelligent discussion on how people react to these things.
[there may be more later, but I imagine it's run its course, for the most part]
***UPDATE:
Wow, a few days later, JM comes back crazier than ever:
JM: btw Jerrod.. you were looking for another death based on today’s politics.. here’s one – Dr. George Tiller, the Kansas doctor who provided abortion services and who was assassinated on May 31, 2009…. ONE
Jerrod: It only took this long to count it! Keep ‘em coming, then compare them to all the murders prior to 10-15 years ago and look for the “decline.”
JM: umm no i didn’t make it a priority, and I’m not LOOKING for them .. and btw, a decline happens over DECADES when did I say it was happening over night? nice try though
Jerrod: When you said this: “The fact that more and more people are killing over politcal issues today than 10 or 15 years ago just goes to show that desparity is getting stronger.”
And I had no idea “10-15 years ago” = “overnight.” Where are you reading that I insinuated this? Are you missing some meds?
JM: ” Are you missing some meds? ”
That’s mature… and real nice.
Jerrod: A logical question considering your behavior and obsession over a days-old thread. And certainly more mature than calling someone a “sarcastic prick.”
JM: you are a sarcastic prick.. you have no idea if i’m on meds or not… you call it obsession.. yet you wanted a full blown list of people killed over political rampage… ummm really? i happen to stumble apon one person, i post it and I’m obsessing? anyway… go ahead, get the last word in
Jerrod: Um, you came on here starting a list. You even numbered it ONE, LOL!
Tosh.O is on and it’s way more interesting than arguing with you, puss [she'd changed her profile pic to a cat]. Take your pills and have a good night.
Woohoo! We made it through another one. I hope you all achieve everything you work toward for 2011.
Wanna know what will help keep me busy? CHECK THIS OUT
Take care, all!
I’m certainly not the first to get hate mail from the deranged idiot, Nickolaus Pacione. After all, he steadily goes after such greats as Brian Keene, Poppy Z. Brite, and Ray Garton, to name but a few. But tonight I got some love from him, and he not only goes after me, but my wife.
For those who don’t know, he runs a lulu-based “publishing” company called Lake Fossil Press. He can’t write himself out of his urine-stained sleeping bag, so he tries to make a name for himself by attacking bigger authors, equating infamy with fame. I hear he’s also been taken to the hospital for having transformers stuck up his ass.
When Skullvines Press debuted with Tabloid Terrors, he accused us of copying his Tabloid Purposes books, thinking that he somehow cornered the whole “tabloid” thing. Well, National Enquirer and Weekly World News, which we were creating a parody of, existed long before those things of his.
Anyway, Brian Keene has signed with Skullvines for his first bizarro novel, which carries a working title of Lake Fossil. So Nicky is a tad upset about it.
Well seriously, fuck him. I think it’s a great title for Brian’s book, it fits the plot, and it’s going to kick ass.
Anyway, first I get an email through the Skullvines Press contact form titled:
Jerrod: a friendly warning
I am not going to be as nice by the time this is all said and done. I hope all the shit your friends art giving me and misrepresenting my imprint — I hope there is a posse that gives your wife the same amount of shit and ten fold than what I get.
By the time that’s all said and done, your wife will find home in a padded cell and white coats looking for her. I think you and your fuckbuddy Keene are really delusional about what what’s the home of Lake Fossil Press. My magazine doesn’t have a fucking unicorn on it.
So think twice you fat fuck because I will show no fucking mercy to any of you.
So if you’re wife hangs herself because all the shit that everyone throws at her — I will just say, “I told you so motherfucker.”
GET FUCKED YOU FUCKING PLAGIARIST.
After that, I get a Facebook message saying:
I hope everything your so called “friends” thrown at me gets thrown at your wife ten times worst. Keene not only dissed my company but dissed one of my star authors. I managed to get Ray Nelson, so I demand that you give the company a little more respect because I got something you don’t have — star power. And if you see your “friends” turning on you and putting all that shit they thrown at me and throw it at Robin, don’t say I told you so. The threats of having me locked in a rubber room, what if they did that to Robin.
Well, I love you, too, sweet-cheeks. And Robin said, “I hope he shits bricks with hemorrhoids.”
***Update:
More love from his Facebook:
Subject: you could have prevented all of this
by not linking the fucking domain lakefossilpress and think of publishing a novel called LAKE FOSSIL — do you want people thinking Lake Fossil to be written by Brian Keene or a science fiction series that’s written by me. They will associate Lake Fossil with me because I’ve been going as LAKE FOSSIL on a social networking website, and not as ning. Take what I say as someone who’d say exactly what I say to your face.
Either stop with the process of your “novel” or I go to the press where you live saying you’re fucking with someone who has a similar illness as your wife. I am far from being an idiot and I’ve sold my work to publications where you don’t have a publishing history. My publishing history goes back to as far as being 20. It’s hard enough that one of your writers organzied a boycott of everything I’ve done.
As long you do those libelous accusations with Hasbro toys or claim that my magazine has a fucking unicorn on the cover. You will always be a horror target in my eyes. I am giving you one fair shot to cease from doing that novel or I will start using titles of your publications for my work.
Nick, I heard about the transformers incident. I didn’t state it as fact, except for the fact that I heard about it. The source claims to have a copy of the actual medical records. What I want to know is, did you have to pay for the robot’s therapy?
Since titles for works can’t be copyrighted, use mine all you want. Here is a list of my stories’ titles and I’d love to see you write something sharing the same name:
“Wolf Plugs” from Dark Jesters is about silver butt plugs to ward off werewolves. You like butt plugs, right?
Tabloid Terrors 1 has such titles as “I was a Sasquatch Sex Slave,” “Scandalous Love Triangle Between Scientist and Two Bears,” “Abominable Snow Woman Bodyslams Igloo in Crazed Rampage,” and “Why Do Skunk Apes Stink?” I’m sure you can relate well to most of those titles.
Tabloid Terrors 2 has the following by me: “Nessie Tried to Pimp My Wife!,” “A Very Squishy Date Rape: Sog Monkeys After Dark,” and “Golden Mermaid has Shitty Midget Fetish.” And no, Nick, that last one isn’t about you.
Tabloid Terrors 3 has these: “Alien Midgets Go Hi-Ho on the Ho-Ho,” (again, not about you though I can see where you’d get confused), and “Close Encounters of the Turd Kind: A Family Tragedy.” Okay, that one is about a guy who shits himself after being exposed to brown rays. It’s technically about you but you were the inspiration.
Write away!
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